because you can't let go

it never got easy for me
every time you enter my mind
the hole in my heart caves in again
echos of love are heard
i suppose it was endearing in my youth...
my mellow dramatic nature but now I have grown old
they tell you it is better to have loved...
but what they don't tell you is that if you can't let go
the current of it will drag you under
it will feel like you can never breathe again
you will be trapped in the moment just before death
the moment just before sweet release your hole life
your chest will feels like it will burst
trapped beneath the surface
the light just above you
never to touch you again

we are our choices. things that we just make up. in space where our minds float.

i realize even though choices feel like things
real things that you can pick like fruit
things that feel as though they can be weighed in the hands of our minds 
"maybe this one is heavier or this one is sweeter?"
"should I follow my dreams or follow the money?"
you think and you weigh and you think and you weigh
but the truth is... you will never know
you cannot weigh choices
cause unlike real fruit
the fruit in your mind is not real
it is just a metaphorical paper mache replica
that you made from a pro and con list you wrote earlier in the day
written with a pencil made out of perceived past experience and rhetoric
because you are NOT a time traveling psychics with a do over button
you can never ever really know
never know if you should have gone left or right
if you should have held on with all your might
or should have let go a lot sooner
you can never really know what truly lies ahead
choices cannot be weighed to make the "right" one
i realize now that i am a super creative person
that can make very interesting lists and exciting educated/blind guesses
so now when i think something "is like this" or "she is like that"
or "it's clear what should be done"
i no longer feel my thoughts are as solid and opaque as they once were
my mind now seem full of translucent possibilities

-anastasia

it never got easier for me
every time i think of you
the hole in my heart caves in again
and i can only hear an echo of love
i suppose it was endearing in my youth
but they don't tell you that if you can't let go
it will drag you under
and it will feel like you can never breathe again
an eternity of not being able surface
with the light hitting the surface but never your skin

- the dieing

Dilate

life used to be life-like
now it's more like show biz
i wake up in the night
and i don't know where the bathroom is
and i don't know what town i'm in
or what sky i am under
and i wake up in the darkness and i 
don't have the will anymore to wonder
everyone has a skeleton
and a closet to keep it in
and you're mine
every song has a you
a you that the singer sings to
and you're it this time
baby, you're it this time

when i need to wipe my face
i use the back of my hand
and i like to take up space
just because i can
and i use my dress
to wipe up my drink
i care less and less
what people think
and you are so lame 
you always disappoint me
it's kinda like our running joke
but it's really not funny
i just want you to live up to
the image of you i create
i see you and i'm so unsatisfied
i see you and i dilate

so i'll walk the plank and i'll jump with a smile
if i'm gonna go down
i'm gonna do it with style
and you won't see me surrender 
you won't hear me confess 
'cuz you've left me with nothing
but i've worked with less
and i learn every room long enough
to make it to the door
and then i hear it click shut behind me
and every key works differently
i forget every time
and the forgetting defines me 
that's what defines me

when i say you sucked my brain out
the english translation 
is i am in love with you 
and it is no fun
but i don't use words like love
'cuz words like that don't matter
but don't look so offended
you know, you should be flattered
i wake up in the night
in some big hotel bed
my hands grope for the light
my hands grope for my head
the world is my oyster
the road is my home
and i know that i'm better 
off alone

" Ain't No Cure For Love " - ( Leonard Cohen )

This version is more loyal to the cover of this song performed by a country

singer on the "Tower of Song" album. There's a chorus section in the original I
can't figure out, and I'm pretty certain it's out of key, but it sounds ok like this.

Verse:
[ Tab from: http://www.guitaretab.com/l/leonard-cohen/104404.html ]
G                               C                     G
I loved you for a long long time I know this love is real
G                                               C                  G
It don't matter how it all went wrong that don't change the way I feel
G                        B7                        C                     G
And I don't believe that time is gonna heal this wound that I'm speaking of
G                           D                   C                  G
There ain't no cure, there ain't no cure, there ain't no cure for love

Verse

Chorus:
               Em            B               C         G
There ain't no cure for love, there ain't no cure for love
    C                          D7
No pill no drug, ain't nothin pure enough
            Em           B               C        G
I can't get nothin done, I can't be with anyone
G                           D                   C                  G
There ain't no cure, there ain't no cure, there ain't no cure for love

(Bridge 2nd time):
                  (A) 
(I don't want no brother love, I don't want no other love)
       (D)7
(There ain't no cure for love)

Love Be Brave

http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/l/laura_marling/love_be_brave_tab.htm

Stay High

Em G D C

  Em                     G
I ate my dinner in my bathtub 
              D
Then I go to sex clubs
                C
Watching freaky people getting it on
   Em           
It doesn't make me nervous
     G       
If anything I'm restless 
D                         C
Yeah I've been around and I've seen it all 

   Em                  G
I get home, I got the munchies
                  D
Binge on all my Twinkies
                 C
Throw up in the tub, then I go to sleep
Em                   
And I drank up all my money 
G                       D
Tasted kind of lonely 

       C                      Em
You're gone and I got to stay high 
         G                       D         C
All the time to keep you off my mind Ooooo Oooooo
Em            G                       D         C
High all the time to keep you off my mind Ooooo Oooooo

Em                   G
Spend my days locked in a haze 
            D                           C
Trying to forget you babe, I fall back down
           Em           G                          D        C
Gotta stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you Ooooo Oooooo

Em                     G
Pick up daddy's at the playground
               D              
How I spend my day time
               C                                        
Loosen up the frown, make them feel alive 
   Em                                              
I make it fast and greasy
G                         D
I know I'm way too easy

       C                      Em
You're gone and I got to stay high 
         G                       D         C
All the time to keep you off my mind Ooooo Oooooo
Em            G                       D         C
High all the time to keep you off my mind Ooooo Oooooo

Em                   G
Spend my days locked in a haze 
            D                           C
Trying to forget you babe, I fall back down
           Em           G                          D        C
Gotta stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you Ooooo Oooooo

Em
Staying in my play pretend
G                           D     C
Where the fun ain't got no end
Em
Can't go home alone again
G                         D       C
Need someone to numb the pain
Em 
Standing in my play pretend
G                           D        C
Where the fun ain't got no end
Em
Can't go home alone again
G                         D         C
Need someone to numb the pain

       C                      Em
You're gone and I got to stay high 
         G                       D         C
All the time to keep you off my mind Ooooo Oooooo
Em            G                       D         C
High all the time to keep you off my mind Ooooo Oooooo

Em                   G
Spend my days locked in a haze 
            D                           C
Trying to forget you babe, I fall back down
           Em           G                          D        C
Gotta stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you Ooooo Oooooo