we are our choices. things that we just make up. in space where our minds float.

i realize even though choices feel like things
real things that you can pick like fruit
things that feel as though they can be weighed in the hands of our minds 
"maybe this one is heavier or this one is sweeter?"
"should I follow my dreams or follow the money?"
you think and you weigh and you think and you weigh
but the truth is... you will never know
you cannot weigh choices
cause unlike real fruit
the fruit in your mind is not real
it is just a metaphorical paper mache replica
that you made from a pro and con list you wrote earlier in the day
written with a pencil made out of perceived past experience and rhetoric
because you are NOT a time traveling psychics with a do over button
you can never ever really know
never know if you should have gone left or right
if you should have held on with all your might
or should have let go a lot sooner
you can never really know what truly lies ahead
choices cannot be weighed to make the "right" one
i realize now that i am a super creative person
that can make very interesting lists and exciting educated/blind guesses
so now when i think something "is like this" or "she is like that"
or "it's clear what should be done"
i no longer feel my thoughts are as solid and opaque as they once were
my mind now seem full of translucent possibilities

-anastasia